This is going to be an extremely, I want to say embarrassing but I don't think that's the right word for it, post. I've contemplated over and over about whether to write it and I'll probably dwell about pressing the publish button after it's done. But, I do think this will be therapeutic for me and make me have to own up to it. I'll tell you a little background first.
January 31, 2011- I was at the park on the river with Alexis, she was almost 6 months old. We were hanging out in the sun and grass. I was taking pictures of her, of course. This couple comes up to me and says how cute she is and all that jazz. Asks if I would like my picture with her. I'm thinking this is the best time for them to run off with my camera because I have the baby and I'm not going to put her down and run after them for a camera. Being hesitant, I said yes. And I got the camera back. Whew! Then, they went on to ask me- "How much did you gain while pregnant?". Yep, it was a weight question and asked by the old man {probably early 70s, could be younger since later they told me they were homeless}. I was surprised because I thought I looked good. My pants were baggy, I was totally loosing weight. He went on to say how his wife was my size {she was with him} and how she lost 100lbs and only took a year. That's how the conversation went for about 30 min. They, then, said their goodbyes and we kept playing.
But after that I was way self conscience. I've never really talked about my weight. I've always been the heaviest person in my group of friends, but after I saw these photos from that day and weighed myself the next day- This is the heaviest and most humiliating I've ever looked in my life. I was 50lbs heavier from the day I got married and got back up to my weight I was when I was pregnant with Alexis.
The pictures I'm going to show are very hard to look at for me. I want to cry when I see them. These were from the same day, January 31, 2011, but my mom took these later that day.
When I see these, I hear that devastating music you hear in movies. Or the theme song to Law & Order. That shirt is one of my maternity shirts. Of course, my pants were baggy- I just went and bought a size UP.
The next week I had decided it was time for a change. Especially with Alexis in the house, I wanted to be able to do things with her and ride, rides at Disney with her and not be kicked off because I couldn't fit. Starting February 1, 2011, I made a change and went back on weight watchers, but at home and alone because my husband wasn't doing it, which ment no motivation. Between February and October 1, I had only lost 15lbs. Oct 10, I changed to low carb & Jon is doing it with me, so motivation - yay!
I had done low carb back in high school and lost 30lbs and kept it off for a long time. It's not that hard really. We eat low-carb wraps and there's sugar free candy. I still get my sweet fix. I weighed on November 8 and had lost a total of 23lbs since Oct 10 and 38lbs since last February. Here are the pictures I took today. Please don't mind the hair, no makeup, pajamas- we have had some almost sleepless nights with Alexis lately and I've been tired.
That's the same shirt from the above pictures. I use it as pajamas now lol. I know I still have a ways to go, but I feel so good and have more energy, which means I'm taking Alexis to more places and having her experience new things. Her new word is "OH WOW!" and usually says it while looking at the moon and stars at night.
You know I couldn't show a progression picture of Alexis. It's amazing how fast babies change in less than a year!
{Picture on the right is sooc, btw :) } Oh and we did cut her bangs last night. I didn't want to, but they were in her face and she won't keep anything in her hair now. The very last picture shows her new bangs. The picture is dark, but you can kinda see them.
Every now and then, when I get a significant weight loss, I'll be posting them. I'm thinking every couple months or so.
There's her new bangs ^
January 31, 2011- I was at the park on the river with Alexis, she was almost 6 months old. We were hanging out in the sun and grass. I was taking pictures of her, of course. This couple comes up to me and says how cute she is and all that jazz. Asks if I would like my picture with her. I'm thinking this is the best time for them to run off with my camera because I have the baby and I'm not going to put her down and run after them for a camera. Being hesitant, I said yes. And I got the camera back. Whew! Then, they went on to ask me- "How much did you gain while pregnant?". Yep, it was a weight question and asked by the old man {probably early 70s, could be younger since later they told me they were homeless}. I was surprised because I thought I looked good. My pants were baggy, I was totally loosing weight. He went on to say how his wife was my size {she was with him} and how she lost 100lbs and only took a year. That's how the conversation went for about 30 min. They, then, said their goodbyes and we kept playing.
But after that I was way self conscience. I've never really talked about my weight. I've always been the heaviest person in my group of friends, but after I saw these photos from that day and weighed myself the next day- This is the heaviest and most humiliating I've ever looked in my life. I was 50lbs heavier from the day I got married and got back up to my weight I was when I was pregnant with Alexis.
The pictures I'm going to show are very hard to look at for me. I want to cry when I see them. These were from the same day, January 31, 2011, but my mom took these later that day.
When I see these, I hear that devastating music you hear in movies. Or the theme song to Law & Order. That shirt is one of my maternity shirts. Of course, my pants were baggy- I just went and bought a size UP.
The next week I had decided it was time for a change. Especially with Alexis in the house, I wanted to be able to do things with her and ride, rides at Disney with her and not be kicked off because I couldn't fit. Starting February 1, 2011, I made a change and went back on weight watchers, but at home and alone because my husband wasn't doing it, which ment no motivation. Between February and October 1, I had only lost 15lbs. Oct 10, I changed to low carb & Jon is doing it with me, so motivation - yay!
I had done low carb back in high school and lost 30lbs and kept it off for a long time. It's not that hard really. We eat low-carb wraps and there's sugar free candy. I still get my sweet fix. I weighed on November 8 and had lost a total of 23lbs since Oct 10 and 38lbs since last February. Here are the pictures I took today. Please don't mind the hair, no makeup, pajamas- we have had some almost sleepless nights with Alexis lately and I've been tired.
That's the same shirt from the above pictures. I use it as pajamas now lol. I know I still have a ways to go, but I feel so good and have more energy, which means I'm taking Alexis to more places and having her experience new things. Her new word is "OH WOW!" and usually says it while looking at the moon and stars at night.
You know I couldn't show a progression picture of Alexis. It's amazing how fast babies change in less than a year!
{Picture on the right is sooc, btw :) } Oh and we did cut her bangs last night. I didn't want to, but they were in her face and she won't keep anything in her hair now. The very last picture shows her new bangs. The picture is dark, but you can kinda see them.
Every now and then, when I get a significant weight loss, I'll be posting them. I'm thinking every couple months or so.
There's her new bangs ^
